Ana/Mia Where I learned how to take Control~Aloha

The year was 2000. I didn't have a job, lost the last two from my eating disorder. Living at home with the folks, mom and step-father. Step father and I , had a love/hate relationship. He was extremely difficult to live with and my mom was so in love she paid no attention to the ill ways he'd treat me. Anyway my weight had been 63 lbs at my lowest point. I had made it to 67 lbs and felt victoriously ashamed. (I failed ana by putting on weight) After the wedding I passed out at, the cardiac arrest I collapsed on me mums floor with, the passing out, the crying, the hair everywhere, everyone saying just eat something, the worry in mums eyes, the baby food, it was just a point I got to I was ready to seak help. It took about 2 months of researching. I didn't want to feel like a prisoner and have more of my identity stolen, I didn't want to be able to just go home either. I knew I needed something more spiritual. Something that got beyond just the eating disorders. Somewhere, someone, who could get to my spirit, my soul and build from there. I found it. It was a fair price to pay consindering most eating disorder centers cost on average 50,000$ and then some. Hawaii. Rev. Keala. The Aloha Healing Women Health Retreats. Who knew I'd be her first and definitely not last. This wonderful woman let me crash, cry, scream, panic, and have a break down. She knew by allowing that would only open up the opportunity for us to build me back up. Get out of the hole and back in to the light of living. She is my gift from God. A gift to my friends and family who for sure thought I'd die. A gift to all those who meet her and are lucky enough to learn from her. While I still stumble over my ana and mia I have never fallen back to the brink of skeleton walking. I have maintained a decent weight. While I control what I eat, I eat and enjoy it. None of this would have been possible without that big leap in 2000 and I flew across the big pond, never had left home before or been on a plane. Miracles present themselves in so many ways. P.S. Only reason I came back to the mainland was because My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer upon arriving on the Big Island of Hawaii.